Friday, December 18, 2009

Warning! Gypsies!

Oh man what a goofy world. I received an email from the Venice Golf & Country Club Master Association where I own a rental home warning me there were Gypsies in the neighborhood breaking into houses. I kid you not: they actually said "Gypsies". And when I asked them what they possibly meant since I was a bit incredulous that there were genuine Romas rummaging around the Venice Golf and Country Club (Although, admittedly Venice is where the 9/11 terrorists learned to fly & home to many a crystal meth dealer), the reply I received from the Master Association was less than cordial. Now, I don't know if any of you have ever been accosted in Europe by a band of true Roma Gypsies, but had you ever had that happen you would have a great deal of trouble imagining them sauntering past the guard gate at good old VG&CC. I mean it is hard to image them blending in with all that bad plaid and being mistaken for one of the ancient geezers careening around in his golf cart thoroughly inebriated by 6 pm after a rousing game of canasta at the club. Gypsies indeed. The best part was the Association said they were pretending to represent a church, knocking on doors, asking for donations, & when finding no one home, going round the back, breaking & entering and robbing the joint. Well, I would maybe believe Gypsies would lure some of the old ladies at bridge into a tarot reading in which their dearly departed came back and apologized for all the times they actually had the temerity to ask for affection or to be cooked a meal (these ladies not only don't kiss anybody, all they know how to make is reservations) but representing a church? No Roma I ever encountered would stoop that low. Whew. It is a good thing Clayton Beck painted this adorable painting so I can send it off to the guard house as a reference next time the Bible beating robbers swing by so they realize A. they are not Gypsies and B. to call the cops. I mean really. This is a crazy world. And, the week before Christmas....

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